Friday, October 23, 2009

In Which We Finally Arrive in Cairns

So we've finally reached Cairns, ditched the campervan and checked ourselves into a hostel. The campervan survived the trip (well apart from the massive scratch Jon managed to put on it just as we pulled outside the drop off pace, but they didn't seem to notice so it's OK).

Cairns hasn't really impressed me so far, but they do have a Hungry Jack's so it's not all bad.

Bug Wars - The Final Battle

In a last ditch attempt to win the war, the bugs sent their most deadly weapon. A fucking huge spider.

As I stepped into the campervan to put some spaghetti in tomato and cheese sauce on the gas hob, Karen asked me 'what is that above your head?' As I looked up I came eyeball to eyeball with a spider the size of a Vauxhall Corsa. As I (very bravely) dived onto the bunk to get out of it's way, The Bastard decided to move (The Bastard is what I've decided to call it). All three of us spoke at great length about what to do about the situation. The conversation was peppered with swear words and things like 'I'm not fucking going in there'.

After a good 15 minutes and consulting a bemused Aussie who confirmed The Bastard was a huntsman and not dangerous we decided to get a tupperware container and trap the little fucker. So whilst Jon had the tupperware container over the spider (sorry The Bastard) I (again, very bravely) got a piece of cardboard from a Coco Pops container and slid it under the mass of legs and hatred. After it was in the plastic box, I let Jon take The Bastard as far away from the van as possible. He then very bravely threw the whole thing to the ground and ran back to us with speeds that would have won him the Olympics 100m. (Or the very least sports day back at school).

After this the bugs have left us alone for the most part. Presumably because they were so scared of our treatment of The Bastard.

And so the ceasefire continues, until the next time.....

In other non-bug related news, trying to find a job in Cairns, is proving much harder than in Brisbane and Sydney. (In Brisbane we were actually offered jobs as we were walking down the street).



  1. Mate,this has got to be your funniest post so far. Hilarious! Keep 'em coming!

  2. good post m8 better description than the message i got of just seen the biggist spider